The Small Things and the Big Things

So first thing on the list : Not letting the small things turn into big things.
I am probably the Queen on turning small thing into bigger things. I've learned that communication is the key to everything (which will be a different post) but especially when small problems come up. I tend to take most things offensively for some reason and then I won't stop to clarify; I'll just get really upset and play the passive-aggressive role. I just recently learned that I solve almost all of problems by being passive-aggressive and by solve, I mean never solve. I found this definition and believe it suits my behaviors well;  Passive aggressive behavior can manifest itself as learned helplessness, procrastination, hostility masquerading as jokes, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate/repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible.^[2] 
I am really trying to stop and think before I speak- this sounds like kindergarten level communication skills but you'd be surprised how often I miss interpreted something my husband would say for something mean and spiteful when it was meant to be helpful. I then would take that comment out of context, not say anything directly to him, just walk about pitying myself and then a day later I would get so upset over something like the dishes being dirty- in reality I'm still mad about that one comment said to me days ago. Proving that I now had made something big out of something small and it caused resentment, anger, sadness, and caused either one of us to get anywhere. Over the last few days I have been trying to make a conscious effort to ask if I feel a comment sounds "mean" or "upset" and the couple times I have taken it wrong and I spoke up we solved it right then and there. I was surprised at myself yesterday because I was upset that there were certain people at my place that I didn't want there- I walked around acting like a teenager until Justin finally asked what was wrong...what was my response? "Nothing" Ha. Ya right. He then just said, "Holly your being passive aggressive." I stopped right then and there and said you know what, your right. I don't think he could believe his ears that I actually agreed and meant it :) But I really did notice it and then quickly turned the situation into a much better one than it usually would have been.
Moral of the Story:  Take some time and think about what your doing as your reacting to situations that upset you. I have found that by me actually saying how I REALLY feel I'm able to fix the issue and move on. If I continue to be so passive- aggressive I will never be able to express my feelings and set boundaries and truthfully tell people how I feel about specific situations. Its a work in progress that's for sure but I'm learning that something you just have to let certain things go, they're just not worth the energy and time. I have wasted  an uncountable number of hours fighting over such stupid things because I was holding resentment from another argument 2 weeks back that I cant even remember what it was about. Don't make a mountain out of a mole hill :)

Soon to Follow: My new relationship with God- crazy amazing how many prayers have already been answered for myself and my family over the last week.

Night All!!! :) :) :)

Stop and Take a Breath

I decided today that I wanted to be able to look back at this time in my life and remember everything about it. I have recently made some huge changes in my life- not sure how many of you know what- but needless to say they're pretty big :) I am learning that patience really is the key to everything in life. I'm working on a few different things right now:

1. My communication with myself and others
2. A relationship with God
3. How to set boundaries with ones that need them
4. How to really listen to others
5. How to not let the little things in life turn into big things

I'm positive there are many more things that I will stumble upon while Im working on these things but for now  I'm going to stick to these main things. When I make lists with things I need to do I often get overwhelmed because they're so many things, so Im going to keep it short and give each different thing as much effort as the next. I have been making a true effort at my communication skills over the last week and have only seen positive results, I have been praying to God everyday and have only seen positive results, the boundaries thing, yeah not there yet :/, I've noticed by truly listening to others I often learn something to apply to my daily life, and last but not least- trying to not let little things get to me has proved to be the hardest task yet so that will be my first topic for this blog. I'm so happy to be able to share this time in my life with you all- it's not all going to be butterflies and roses but I hope to learn true happiness through this journey. <3