Hello All! I haven't written on here for a bit- been trying to examine my life and what needs to be changed in order to make myself happy. A few things come to mind:
1. Staying connected with my spiritual side
2. Eliminating the "Drama" in my life
3. Begin to eat healthier and exercise at least once a day for 30min to an hour
4. Most importantly: Doing ALL of these things FOR ME- to better myself for ME not anyone else- or course it will benefit others in the way I interact with others- but keeping ME first is the number 1 priority in this transformation.
I have been slacking a little on the "spirituality" aspect of my life- I have been praying daily but a few weeks ago I was praying daily, reading about spirituality and what it really means, talking with others about what I am experiencing and how it is impacting me, and taking a DAILY inventory of myself at the end of each night to determine if I'm progressing or regressing.
I plan on making this my NUMBER ONE priority- I have only been practicing this aspect of life for a little over a month- and I have not one bad thing to say about me attempting to connect with my Higher Power- I have had multiple "little" things happen daily that simply make my life better and make me smile. I've also seen response in regards to me making HUGE life decisions/changes- I have a sense of calmness and patience that I never use to have. So I plan on having a notebook that includes: Daily Inventory, Physical Activity Log ,and a Food Diary.
The "Eliminating Drama" Aspect of my life: Well, this is a very difficult task for me, as I have been surrounding myself with my drama and everyone else s drama for my entire life. I've learned that unfortunately I have created the majority of my drama in my life. Of course others contribute, but I have the learn to ELIMINATE the people that cause more drama than good in my life.
I have had to practice this technique more recently and it SUCKS to have to tell someone what they're doing is hurtful or isn't "right" But, it is very empowering to be able to stick up for yourself. There is a difference in speaking up for yourself and gossiping about others. There is a fine line- what I have to really work on is NOT speaking about others when they're not there.
Over the last month or so I have been the victim of "smack talk" from a person I considered to be my friend- I decided that after hearing from numerous others that this person was discussing mine and hers relationship and putting down the way I've treated them, instead of building up resentment and anger, I told this person exactly how I felt and that what they did hurt me- I'm proud of doing that BUT now I have to focus on not gossiping about this event and that I realize that I don't have to share ALL details of what has happened.
I have a BAD habit of telling every person or thing imaginable what is going on with so and so, and why they're doing this or that, and how dumb it is or irresponsible- yet I'm being "irresponsible" by not talking ONLY to the party involved. This week will include my taking a Daily Inventory of the events that occur in my daily life and how I handle them. Hopefully this will enlighten me to the things I do repeatedly and help me to better myself.
The Becoming Healthier and Exercising Aspect is going into full affect tomorrow. (Sunday)- I have been gaining weight pretty fast over the last 2 months. Yes, I know I'm not fat and that "I should eat more." But there is a healthy way to do that and me having 2 large McDonald's coke a day and eating fast food is rapidly hurting my body. I can tell that by me simply changing from drinking all soda all day- to just one soda a day and the rest of my liquid intake being water a substantial change in the way I feel. I feel so unhealthy bc of the fact that I have gained over 15lbs in less than a month- I could stand to gain 15lbs and still look good- but the reason I have gained weight is bc of the types of food I'm eating ( fast-food/frozen precooked meals/soda) and not having ANY type of physical activity to do except walking around at work.
I plan on beginning this tomorrow as well: I will have a Food Diary/Physical Activity Log that I will keep track of all food/drinks consumed and the amount of exercise performed each day. This will allow me to look at all habits and routines involved in my daily food/activity intake. Hopefully- by seeing similar patterns in my day to day life will help me to make changes that are needed in order to keep myself "eating a well-balanced diet" and making sure I am following thru with these changes.
Doing ALL things for ME Change is needing to trump all other tasks on this list- except my spirituality I have always done things for others or based my actions on how someone else will feel, which is good, but only to an extent. I have wanted to "change" many aspects of my life for quite some time now, but I never grabbed those changes by the horns and completed them- I would simply write out what I wanted to change, but if I thought that some one else might not think highly of me or like what I'm doing to change- I won't follow thru on that change. I will just put it on the back burners and keep saying "Ill get around to it." I have been making big life decisions/changes over the last couple months and in the beginning I swore I wouldn't let anyone else affect me or change my mind about completing this laundry list of things to change/accomplish- but I've noticed over the last couple of weeks that I'm going back to old communication/co-dependent behavior. I based my actions on what other people would think- which defeats the purpose of me changing things in MY life- the decision to change MY life has happened because I did not like how MY life was going. Of course other people will benefit from my changes most likely but Im not doing this for them- Im doing this because I am not satisfied. So- in order to start truly focusing on myself- I plan on eliminating people (for the time being) that are not encouraging to me/ surrounding myself with a different set of friends (Mostly ALL new ones, as I did not have many old friendships that lasted)/ Keeping a daily inventory of my life in all aspects/ going to meetings to learn more about myself/ speaking up for myself when my values are being compromised and STICKING to my boundaries- this will allow ME to be in control NOT anyone or anything else.
I appreciate more than you know having the support of family and friends. @Madie H.- Reading your blogs has truly inspired me- you set out to make changes and even with the hardships you're sticking to your commitment @April- you also have inspired me- I know your making changes to rid yourself of unnecessary pain caused by eating things that just don't work with you and your body. Its amazing to me that you can stick to your commitment as well. Both of you, along with a few others, have greatly influenced/impacted me. Thank you all for your love!!! Cant Wait to take this VERY MUCH needed vacay in less than a month to come see you lovely ladies.!!!
I will be blogging at least once a week as to update everyone on my weekly progress and watch how my habits change. Hope to hear from ya all! LOVE EVERYONE!!! <3 <3 <3
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